Lucille's Sketchbook and Journal

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  • #19102
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    I’ve been really focusing on constructing line drawings doing the angles thing for the last week. Man, it’s improving things a lot. I hate how my cognitive impairment slows down my art learning and understanding process so bad and how the physical impairments limit the amount of time I can actually spend doing what I learn. I do watch a lot of instructional videos when I’m forced to lay down though and I finally feel like all that info is going somewhere, I also just sit around and think about everything when I can’t get up but can’t sleep any more.

    Two major developments in the last few days – first, I think I”m finally starting to understand how to do quick sketches of faces and expressions in a style that’s much closer to how I want it to look. The two faces at the bottom of the pages are super simplified and I think they still took me 15 minutes but that’s better than the hour or two (or four) I used to spend on every since ‘sketch’

    the other thing is. I have this irrational fear of getting paint ‘on things’. I think it’s the typical fear of failure that everyone has when they first start to paint… but also I think a lot of it subconsciously has been growing up with a psychotic neat freak who would buy me art materials and then tell me not to get them ‘on anything’. I’m pretty sure ‘on things’ is where art materials go. Seriously, the woman bought me a potters wheel when I was 14 and it had no splash guard… we put it down in the unfinished basement and then she put the fear of god into me about not getting clay anywhere outside of the wheel. Um, that’s not how throwing a pot works dude. So guess how many pots I threw on that wheel? None. Now I’ve got this brand new easle and all these new unopened tubes of paint and shiny new brushes… OMG!!! It’s so HARD just to open the damn paint and get it ‘on things’. I don’t want to get it on the easle. I don’t want to get it on the brush handles or my rinse cup. OMG I definitely don’t want to get it on the $20 rug that I bought to put under the easle to protect the actual floor. smdh! Honestly, I’ve had such a big mental block about it even getting paint on the cheap practice canvas textured paper feels like ‘getting it on things’ lol. So I’ve spent the last few days just getting comfortable in the room I just set up as a painting studio and getting comfortable getting paint on things while I watch instructional videos. I practiced painting more than ten mottled backgrounds onto the canvas paper and even did some on little cheap canvas boards. I think it helped A TON. I took a long sleep and then woke up today and finally understood what the heck it is people are doing when I see them paint on youtube and it looks like they’re just throwing paint around on the canvas without drawing it out in pencil first and it somehow comes out great. I keep feeling really immobilized by the idea of sketching it out and refining it in my sketchbook then transferring it to the painting surface. I mean, that’s nice for a lot of things – I like to do that with my ink drawings. But, crap, I don’t want to be stuck with no other painting options. I thought the other option was to haphazardly block in large blobs of tone with a thinned down paint while you do the underpainting and hope it comes out ok. When I woke up my slow slow brain had finally finished processing the information that, no dude. When you hit the canvas with an underpainting without drawing first you are using the angles and measurements to sketch it out roughly just as you would with a pencil in your sketchbook but you’re just doing it with a brush. Then you’re blocking in tone… then you’re refining the outside contours and micro angles as you continue to the actual painting. I thought I’d give it a try and I don’t hate how my first ever acrylic paint study came out. I outlined one of the underpaintings I did with pen afterwards just to help me see how hard or easy it would be to refine the shapes from there. These sketchbook pages are super thin – they’re the bamboo kind from pentallic and I ended up gel printing them with one layer of gesso – I’m surprised by how well it worked out. There’s a lot of buckling on the back side of the page but it took a lot of paint and medium. I have a stash of these books cause they were hella cheap on sale and it’s good to finally have a way of using them now that I’ve discovered I really don’t prefer dry media.

    174-179 I’ve been doing line drawings of animals in really awkward poses to try and see how clear I can get the image without much tone or details. I’ve also been doing a lot of really weird people smoking crack pipes cause they always seem to have they’re hands and face contorted in some weird way that’s super challenging to draw

    #19103
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    forgot to shrink the pictures

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    #19108
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    177 – I LOVE the photo reference on this site – that alone is worth the price of membership!! I can’t actually believe how cool this site is!

    171 – tryna get loose with it

    181-182 YAY!! my first acrylic paint study ever!!

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    #21183
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    I’ve taken some acrylic painting courses in the last few months, gotten (mostly) over my fear of getting paint ‘on things’ and spent a whole month doing nothing but having a nervous breakdown, writing stuff on my walls and painting really dismal looking pears. I’ve painted so many damn pears. Pears mostly in water color with 20 different brushes just to see what kind of brushes I like using. Pears in different colors, different moods, pears all on the same type of paper but with 14 different water based media like water soluable graphite, ink, watercolor, liquid watercolor, inktense pencils, neocolor crayons, acrylic ink and on and on. So many freaking pears. Oil paint pears, charcoal pears, gouache pears. I just really want to know what’s out there and how it all feels going down on different surfaces. Also I never want to eat or see another pear ever again. Except now. I want to eat one right now. I actually felt up to getting some social time so I went out to a nude club and did some penis portraits to get over my fear of painting in public and to get used to doing fast quick studies in paint. Also to test my portable set up.

    215 – god why are there so many. that was a few days into the pears
    218 – no more freaking pears. Ever.
    202 – self explanatory
    220 – oh, and then even though I feel like I’m not getting anywhere trying to learn art while battling my weird medical stuff I totally managed to fill a page with ten minute sketches tonight. I have no idea how I’m getting faster… I’m not doing that much drawing I don’t think… mostly just laying in bed sick *thinking* really hard about drawing and imagining that I am. It’s taken me almost three years to get to the point that I can do a ten minute sketch that I feel ok about – AND I’M SO HAPPY!!! These little skulls would have taken me an hour each three years ago… and probably 20-30 mins each just 6 months ago. Got them done in ten. So YAY!! Not all hope is lost

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    #21186
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    whoops I forgot to shrink these down

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    #21189
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    oh – and then this happened: I went OUTSIDE during the day last week.

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    #22864
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    I finally got to put some oil paint on something. I think I might like acrylics better for paintings that aren’t going to have impasto and heavy brush strokes… if I’m painting fairly smooth then the finished product really looks the same and geeze the oil paint has a tendency to migrate in a way I find really disconcerting. I find little smudges and faint oil paint stains all over my arms, furniture, everywhere when I’m done. Acrylics just sort of stay on their leash and only go where I tell them to (mostly on my canvas). I think I’ll be using acrylics a lot to do paint studies but ultimately doing most of my finished paintings with oils because nothing compares to the rich textures they give. I love oil paintings that make the canvas look like a frosted cake. Acrylic impasto dries down SO much.

    I’ve been doing some really ‘boring’ paint studies that make my friends think I’m crazy.. I wish my health was better so I could spring up out of bed and do one every single day. I think hoping I’ll get to paint tomorrow is the main thing keeping me alive right now. I did another Zorn copy but this time instead of using the Zorn palette I used Golden Acrylics ‘primary’ colors – magenta, cyan, yellow – just to see what it would be like. Oh my god. It was disgusting. I know there’s some messed up stuff going on with this lady’s cheek but I couldnt make myself care. The primary color palette was so absolutely very disgusting to work with. It almost felt slimy for some reason and slippery. And mixing the colors to match the Zorn painting was HARD. The pigments used for the primaries seem to have a very high tinting strength and any little smidge added to the mix would throw it in a whole other direction. I struggled for an hour before finally deciding to use the primary colors to mix colors resembling a yellow ochre and cadmium red… then I mixed from those more subdued colors. I don’t hate how the colors ended up looking… they are more vivid than the Zorn palette but the experience was awful – even when it was going right it just felt very, very wrong. Very interesting experience. I want to try this one again with an acrylic gouache on paper soon just to see what that feels like

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    #22867
    Lucille Kreps
    Participant

    for a while I was managing to multitask and fit a little art in even on nights I had to work. I’d sit out in the car after work at 3am and draw clients faces from memory – it would have been interesting to be able to take photos so I could compare the memory drawing to the actual face to see how I did but that wasn’t really possible. I need to get back to doing this soon!

    I’m not like a priest or a therapist. There is no confidentiality clause I have to abide by. So I text these sketches to my girlfriends and we laugh.

    I managed to use “I’d like to draw you on a paper with a lovely laid finish’ as a pickup line. Also, I got some lovely handmade all cotton paper with a laid finish a few months ago. It feels like cloth what you touch it. I live for that.

    I’m going off on a photography tangent for the next month or two to really nail taking good reference photos. My hands are messed up again. Hopefully painting will start happening again. I crave it more than food now.

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    #23110
    Magnus Burén
    Participant

    Great studies, keep posting 🙂

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