wow. So after a really hellish 9 months and finding out what the crap is actually wrong with my brain that’s making it hallucinate so much (along with struggling to regulate everything else in my body) I’m back and I’m doing inktober. I don’t care if it’s a medical condition and not some sort of wonderful spiritual ability.. I’m still planning on trying to paint the stuff I see. Although, I haven’t gotten far at all on that… I’m actually kind of accidentally doing the opposite as I practice. mostly I’m finding that I if draw or even if I just scribble with different things it makes the hallucinations really beautiful and pleasant when they come on and i end up seeing endless worlds of colorful scribbly amazing stuff. So… not what I set out to do drawing, but it’s vastly improved my well being so I’ll take it.
In april I went to a dollhouse show and got to draw the old ladies waiting in line for the show to open and I realized I don’t suck as much as I thought I do… I’d been going out to bars and strip clubs and drawing drunk people in terrible dim lighting from far away moving really fast. was good though – I notice I’m a lot less shy about drawing in public now and a super lot faster than I used to be.
some inktobers. I’m trying to actually follow the prompts since I’ve never been good about that kind of stuff… I’ve done 13 so far which is about 13 more than I thought I could do and probably 13 more than I could have done this time last year. I’m sitting up more lately – so yay! Also, I’ve actually only done 12 but day 7 the official prompt was ‘exhausted’ so I left that one blank and called it performance art. (in other words, cheated because I was too exhausted to draw lol) I’m using 3.5 inch tiles for inktober to keep the drawings small and super managable so I’ll actually do them. On the back I’m writing a bunch of random stuff that’s in my head that seems to block me from being able to actually draw, even when I can sit up. I think it’s helping.
I need to stop being bummed about not really having a style.. I think I just haven’t tried enough stuff yet to have a style. I think the more I let go of the things that i wish were my style but I know they’ll never be, the more I’ll actually find my style. Like, I LOVE realistic pencil drawings. Hate doing them. So that’s probably not what I should be doing. LOVE inky stuff, and LOVE doing it. Love washes. love doing them. thanks inktober!
126 some really random zentangle crap
131 old ladies doin’ it big at the chicago mini show
143 144 i finally went on a camping trip for the first time in my life (shit it is really now or never at this point!) and managed to get some sketching done. it was a nice week and I ate all kinds of camp food stuff